Meditations for New Mothers

When I was having my first child, I received the book "Meditations for New Mothers" by Beth Wilson Saavedra from my sister-in-law. I now have another child and I frequently find myself reverting back to this wonderful book that inspires and uplifts me and lets me know that I am not alone as I continue to learn and grow in motherhood. This blog is not only to tell of the joys and challenges I have in being a mother, but also to quote from this book and to add my reflections of its messages.
The first quote relates to this past week. It reads:
"Trouble is part of everyone's life. When we share it with those we trust, our troubles dissipate and, sometimes, even vanish. If our pain is heard, it can begin to dissolve. When we keep our loved ones at a distance, we may think we are protecting them, when actually we are protecting ourselves. Afraid of being perceived as weak, we don't allow ourselves to be vulnerable. By excluding those we love from the troubled parts of our life, we don't give them the 'chance to love us enough.'"
Last week was perhaps the toughest, most challenging weeks. It started with the most unlucky day. Isabel was up all night throwing up which left me with only three hours of sleep. The next morning I set up an appointment with the pediatrician. I got a babysitter for my toddler and then set out to get my daughter to the doctor. I was running late because my son decided to have a bowel movement which meaned a diaper change was inevitable. On the way to the babysitter's I was pulled over for speeding. The tears already started to flow, but I pressed forward. I got to the doctor's 15 minutes late and the emotions were surfaced. When the pediatrician came in I no longer could hold back the tears. I broke down. She comforted me telling me that what I was going through was normal for all mothers and that I am doing a good job with my children. I felt much better after talking with her. I picked up my son from the babysitters and head home, only to find out when I got home that I had locked myself out. I had two children crying, Isabel because it was time to feed her again, and Aaron because it was time for his nap. I had no cell phone and my husband's spare key was accidently with his mother in Wyoming. I went to my friends to use her phone and called my landlord. Found out my landlord was out of town, so I had to pay $35 for a locksmith to open the door. Needless to say, by the time I got home, I was exhausted and emotionally drained. I broke down again to my aunt. A few days later, I had a scheduled surgery to get my gall bladder taken out. (My gall bladder had become inflamed while I was pregnant and I found out I had gall stones.) The surgery was at 7:30 a.m. It was a simple procedure that would have me out of the hospital by noon. After I woke up from the anesthia I was very drowsy and out of it. I was given Loritab for pain and had a nasty reaction to it. I became very nautious and was vomiting. It took eight hours before I got the Loritab out of my system. The nurses kept giving me different kinds of antinausea medicine. It wasn't until the fourth one that I was able to keep liquids and food down. Because of my reaction to the Loritab, the doctor had me stay overnight in the hospital. While I was getting moved to a different room, my children were at the babysitters. At 7:30 p.m. my husband got a call from the babysitters. Aaron had fallen straight on his back and was stiff, his eyes open, but non responsive for about 3 minutes. Spencer said, "He had a seizure. I will be right over." Spencer picked up Aaron and brought him to the hospital ER. So while I was on the 2nd floor, my son was on the first floor in the ER. I was so scared and worried. I also felt so helpless being only a floor away from Aaron and I couldn't help him or comfort him. One of the nurses came to my room with a wheelchair and said, "If it was my child I would want to see him. Let me take you downstairs so you can see him." I was so touched and relieved. I was able to see my little boy and hold him even if just for a little bit. We later found out that he had a virus that caused an ear infection which most likely caused a fever. The spike in the fever is what caused the seizure. It took 4 days before Aaron was able to break his fever. He was weak and just wanted to be held all day or sleep. He was the sickest he has ever been. Because I was just out of surgery and still recovering I was pleased to have help from my mother in law, who came down from Wyoming. It was a challenging week, but at the same time it was also an opportunity to share my burdens with those who love and care about me. I am blessed with nurturing, caring friends and family. I was blessed to not go through this week alone. I have a loving and caring husband is so willing to give his all to help whereever he is able to.